187: Really Beyond the Peleton
Ok, geeze, sorry for the delay. The new issue is off to the printer. Man that was a jam fest. And by jam fest I mean a party. And by a party I mean I actually pulled an all nighter. It felt like I was at University again. Studying hard and then blam its 8am (I never did that once.)
The photo above is a black box. And in that black box are a mysterious set of of cards. Check out the images and see for yourself, but I will say that when I got the box I thought it was going to be the sweetest. It was not. Do not get me wrong (I feel like I say that a lot. Do you "get me wrong?") I like the Cervelo Test Team.
Bartape, their series of videos are really pretty great. Insightful. Professional and very well shot. Not sure about the Bengt guy and his "Body Self Development Assistance" title. I mean sure, Sastre, yeah that makes sense. He seems like he needs a little more nurturing than everyone else. And maybe, while we are at it Bengt is the guy who helped Hausler decide that frosted tips were back in. But I have to think that J. Hunt and R. Hammond could probably crush this guy with their minds.
How would it feel to greet Thor at the team bus just minutes after this sprint?
Quick what is the first thing that comes to mind? For me it is the words - awkward, forced and, well, awkward. Unless, he is throwing his hands it the air to give me the biggest darndest hug I could imagine.
I bet at this point you are wondering how I got ahold of this? How did I come to be in possession of said black box? Our old pal Chance my friends. And I do not mean a quirky urban hipster name. Just chance.
Mr. Olson and I were about to get on the elevator of the Ace Hotel in NY last week and two gentleman stepped off of the elevator. One of them was holding a pile of these black boxes in his hands. We stepped into the elevator and then looked at each other and went "Was that a Cervelo Logo?" at the same time. It was one of those weird sitcom TV moments and we started jumping up and down and howling like monkeys. (Not really).
So, we got off the elevator and introduced ourselves. Seems like the only sensible thing to do in that scenario right? I mean we are part of the same world (generally speaking.) Plus, I thought that it might be the perfect time to get to the bottom of Haussler's spikey hair doo.
Well, they really were not that interested in speaking with us that was apparent when upon introducing ourselves. Their glazed over look gave them the impression of some kind of German robot people. But that's kind of where we are heading anyway right?
Imagine being in the car right now. It looks like that guy is actually trying to get out of the car. Or maybe he's crawling out of Thor's ass?
I'm guessing that these cards serve as some sort of a marketing push for the Test Team. That the guys that we met were doing, or had done a dinner of sorts to try and gain some financial momentum for the program. But the whole thing just felt a little wrong. A big cardboard box filled with a spongy foam bed with these cards hovering in the center.
Carlos Sastre was the first rider to sign with CTT. At the Giro, he inked over 1,200 autographs and entertained corporate guests. He also won two stages and made the podium on GC. Imagine what he might do for Beyond the Peleton Network platinum Members?
Hmm. So he can work with his hands you are telling me. And he must have strong wrists, and "entertained corporate guests" so he must also be either a stand up comedian or a belly dancer. Wow, bicycle racers really are advanced these days. Not only do they steer their bikes well, but they also have written skills and the Home-Ec to back it up in the entertainment arena.
The best part is, even after a run in with shitty Robo Management and poor use of resources (a book would have been much cooler floating in foam). I still really like this team. In fact, maybe even more so than most of the other teams out there.
More than Lampre? Maybe. More than the new Astana goon squad? Definitely, and even more than Garmin. Yes. The only one that could have given them a run for their money because of their Sweet Carbon Bike Testing awesomeness would have been BMC but they didn't even get to enter into the style debate by hiring the Dusty Chimp to not only do their dirty work but make their jeans. Sigh.
Although it does make me wonder what this years Battenkill is going to be like. The Pro Version. Not that Cervelo is going to be there or anything. I just wonder about these things.