206: More More More.

Evil Ryan keeps asking about Ping-Pong this weekend, and the only thing that I could think was. Ping-Pong Porno Paddles. Not because I am really that into...(which am I going to say?) Porno, but because this would be a sweet thing to have on hand. Plus David Neevel made them and that makes them awesomer...why? Because he has a beard and I just saw a photo of him holding cookies at a bar downtown. Beards and cookies.

Also, there have been a little bit of sweet-age showing up at the office for the party this weekend. Mr. Sachs himself sent over a print which looks really good and was done by House Industries. I want you to have one.


And the Chris Piascik Major Taylor piece showed up. The little pamphlet style book looks really great. Take a look through his site as there are some great hand drawn letters happening over there. Really good looking stuff. So, there is that. But in all honesty, I really really like this one not only for the historical reference, but also for its overall message. It sounds like M. Taylor is the kind of guy that I would not mind hanging out with. "Don't Forget to Play the Game Fair." How do you even argue with that?

Also heard that he is going to be printing a full on letterpress style one. So, that should be good too.



There will be some T-Shirts on hand as well. I did a little T-shirt section in the new publication and have been getting some good feedback on it. Actually I just made that I up, I haven't gotten much feedback on it, but in an effort to "Play the Game Fair" I just thought that I should let you know where I am coming from. The guy working the hotel desk at the NAHBS said that he really liked this section though because I had sweet "tats". Thanks man, but I have realized (maybe just tonight) that I kept getting tattoos to cover up the really bad ones. They are good now, but when it first got going... yikes...(what I was 17.)

I'm going to do a similar spread like this for amateur cycling kits the next time around, so let me know if you think that I should feature yours. Because, really, I probably should. And wait till you see how I am going to shoot it. (Ones I am hoping for - Wooly Mammoth, PBS, CBS, HUPIS LIBRIS, ATMO, Pony Shop, Ritte, Cambridge Bicycle, Geekhouse, IF... what am I forgetting? I know that I am forgetting a few there.) So, send me over an email if you think that your kit should be featured.

But here is what the TShirt looks like. If you are not going to be albe to make the party. You are in luck! You can still get one of your own on these shirts. Which I made by hand. Well, sort of. I printed out the logo and then placed some tracing paper over it. But, it seems to make a better story if you actually made it by hand.


Also, the fun is not going to stop this weekend. Or at the very least on Saturday. The Veloforma Gals are having their own little party right down the street and I highly recommend that you go and check this one out as well. I am planning on it. Dave Roth, our man in the field, said that he went to this event last year and every girl on the team was dressed up and looking positively great in what could almost pass as evening wear. That is a good reason to be there.

and then...

On Sunday morning when you wake up with a hangover from having too much beer. Then I guess you could come and ride this. I seriously just found this flyer on the way over here and scanned it into the computer. Fresh off the press or something... Anyway, I did the first one and it was so much fun that I think I will do it again.

PS - Boonen is definitely going to win Milan San Remo. Cavendish is out getting his teeth fixed and who else do we have? Hausler? Nope, injured. Maybe someone old and crusty?

Also, the same Dave Roth that was pushing me to break it up with the EMBRO awards harped on me so badly tonight for not following through with all of them that I think they will continue. I really thought that people were over the NAHBS and didn't care too much so I thought I would just save it all for the actual issue. But worry not, I'll finish it out.

See you Saturday.

205: Never Been to Spain (the song.)

Ampersand
2916 Alberta Street PDX
3/20/2010
6-10pm

Mention free beer. Just mention it.

See? I told you that the Flyer out of Ampersand would be much better than mine. If for no other reason than they got the address correct. I got that word that there is going to be some Mad Alchemy action up in this piece as well. Yes, I said up in this piece. That was almost as "street" as when CD quoted Biggie Smalls this morning. Judas Priest I am used to, but Biggie plucks at the heartstrings.

Did I mention that I am excited to hang out with everyone this weekend, albeit nervous? Tina Brubaker twitted, or tweeted that she was coming and things were going to get "broke." And then on top of that 21st Avenue bicycles commented that they were going to "destroy everything in sight." Am I to take this as a sign that things may actually get broken at the Ampersand Shop? That is not what I had in mind.

I simply thought that we could get together and discuss some of the issues of the day?

Some of the issues of the day:

1) This amazing post on Craigslist. "Black turtle mud spikes = Pinhead designed and tested to raise hell" I don't even know what that means, but it makes me laugh.

2) Corey Haim. What happened little buddy? (Ok, we all know what happened.)

3) Speaking of Mind Melting. My mind melted when I saw this on Tracko today. You can find a few other ones on the site of Jorge Leon. Sir, you are now in the awesomebook just for putting this little collection together. Virenqe and Indurain are my favorites. Ok, I like Delgado too. Ok, they are all pretty awesome. I fucking love Virenque's haircut on this too. I'm doing that for the summer.

Every time I think about Indurain, or even hear the mention of his name I think about Spain. I was there a few years ago and somehow found myself humping this crappy mountain bike up throught hills that I could not fathom now if I tried. Everywhere you looked there was sunshine and goats. You would have to stop in the road and wait on the hot tarmac for them to move along. Then get a running start and jam on the broken pedals and hope for the best.

You know how they (people who have no clue about cycling) shout "Gooo Lance" whenever they see you in a cycling kit? (Shame on you if you wear yellow). Well, over there they chant something else and it goes "In-du-rain, In-duuu-rain." It only took me about seven goat herders to figure out what they were saying. And the instant it did my hear swelled to three times its normal size and tears squeezed from my eyes.

Thanks Spain.

4) The Spanish Mashburn
Speaking of Spain, my teammate Kyle Smith (I can still say teammate if he's on the East Coast right?) and former teammate Nick Mashburn (Cambridge Bicycle and now Svelte? Awesome!) are riding their right now. And I am insanely jealous. I guess I will go ride Otto Miller to punish those thoughts out of my silly little head tomorrow.

See you in a couple days. Or not. But before I go, I'll leave you with this little photo. It was a twitter post earlier today, but before that I printed it in Embrocation Volume one. And before that someone took it and then gave it to my other Hero Steve Pucci.

204: Spring is in the Air.

Is it possible to get too excited that Classics Season (something other folks like to call Springtime) is finally upon us? What is it that makes me want to pour over old photos and video looking for answers? Can VDB pull it off? The above piece was written by the esteemed (and nominee for Delaware Cycling Hall of Fame) writer Fat Marc Vanderbacon. Yes, and yes please.

Thanks Radio Freddy for giving us this brief — hands draped over the bars — lesson in Style.



But who can we speak to as this years equivalent? A punchy, flashy replacement for our recently downed hero? The younger Schleck? He needs a little bit of class yet...has too much of that scrubbed clean feel to him? Do you know what I am talking about here, or am I making this up?

Does anyone really care you are asking yourself? R. Freddy cares. I care. Which is also why there may be a reciept for some white overshoes and matching gloves sitting right next to me. (no I did not audition to play mickey mouse at a talent show.) Ok, sorry about this little tangent, I can hash these things out for myself up Otto Miller this Wednesday (12:30).

I know what is on everyone's mind these days: How can I get Tony Periera's autograph? I have a few ideas, but the one that I keep coming back to is to head over to Ampersand this coming Saturday and ask him yourself. And I will tell you this much, lets hush our voices for a minute lest someone overhear us. Ira was signing them at the NAHBS. You be the judge on this one.

Speaking of which. There are a lot of Portland representatives that made it into Volume 5. Tori Bortman runs Gracies Wrench out of the Vanilla Workshop these days and wrote a lovely piece about the building of some Edge Tubular wheels. Wheels that you could use for cross, but that you could also use for the Road if you so desired. Super Sexy Dan Sharp photos as well.

I on the other hand am going to be the judge on this one (I know, already too much italics). What if I said that you needed to WRITE to get me to hand over this SSCXWC bike?
It has Ultegra Tubeless Wheels on it. Twitter says so.

So, Myles, Kyle and I have officially talked about it, so I think that we can move forward with this manner. Submissions are now officially open for a the piece that will WIN this bike. The bike featured in the SSCXWC piece mentioned yesterday. I know you have yet to actually see the bike, but let me tell you - its awesome.

Now the question becomes this...What Do I Submit? And I can go ahead and walk you through it if you like, but that would probably defeat the purpose. What I can do is go ahead and give you a few of the early nommination ideas. Think outside the box here people, this is for you.

1. Photo Submission
Molly Cameron went ahead and nominated her mechanic Jake to do a piece (with photos) about what it is like to be a mechanic for her. I like his forrest photos, the ones of his van, and of course the Cyclocross Ones.

2. Sheer Stoke
Both Kyle (who is another judge, mind you and my main ideas man here) and Cory said something to the effect of "I would shred your face off for this bike."But we were listening to heavy metal and drinking heavily, so I am not entirely sure if that is how it actually went down.

3. Written Submission
Maybe you want to sit down and pen a memoir about how Cyclocross has changed your life? That is cool. I would be totally into that. As long as you can do it in less words than you think Hemmingway could, and get punched in the face twice while working on it. Then do that one. But, in all honesty. I do love me some written words.

4. Self Submission (easy tiger)
Molly nomminated herself as well. Not really sure how that is going to work out, but she said it would "be all about her." I guess the point here is if you can come to me and say "this is me, and this is why you should do a story about me AND give me an effing bike AND I am convinced by this (no physical violence please.) Then we will go with this one.

5. Visual Submission
Are you into the design arts? Maybe a Printmaker or Letterpress Agent (don't think that they are actually called that) and you think you have what it takes to help out with doing the Interstitials (Reflections, Distractions, Features) of the publication. That would be a pretty awesome barter.

So, there you go. A few ideas to get you moving. I am really open to anything at this point. The point of it is that I am hoping to print it in an upcoming volume of Embrocation Cycling Journal...so there is that as well.

203: Volume 5 Party - Celebration Funtimes.

Ampersand Vintage

---- 2916 NE Alberta Street, Suite B----
Saturday, March 20th
6 to 10PM
Raffle and Prizes.

Also mention, free beer & wine.

Pretty excited about this one. There have been a ton of people from the Portland area (and elsewhere too - DE, IL, MA, CA) that helped to make this issue possible, so I thought it might be a good time to pay tribute to them. Or at least the ones in the immediate area by buying everyone beer. That is ok right?

Raffle and Prizes:
This should be a good one. There will be raffle tickets available to everyone who purchases a copy of Embrocation from the shop. As well as raffle tickets give out to anyone who purchases anything at Ampersand (as long as it is over the price of an Embrocation). And then raffle tickets given out to anyone that can otherwise convince me that you should get some raffle tickets. I will tell you a little more about the prizes this week but I know that one of them will be a bottle of my favorite Whiskey. Plus I am hoping that I can just roam around my neighborhood and come up with some other cool prizes (a live chicken?).

I do know that one of the prizes is going to be pretty badass. Badass in a badass kind of way. I got one of the SSCXWC bikes to test out for a bit this past Cross Season and I thought that you should have it. Plus, Shimano chipped in with some really great Ultegra and PRO parts to help kit it out. Kyle Vonhoetzendorff did the interview with Matt and Dani and he and I have come up with a foolproof way of determining a clear winner for this bicycle. More on that later, but I will tell you that Kyle and I are going to be the judges on this one so start the wheels turning on how to solicite our attentions/votes.

Mark your calendar. It is going to be good.

Matthew Karre (who works at River City Bicycles) wrote this piece about James Selman. Both of these guys live in town here, so hopefully we can get them to come out and sign autographs. I bet that Matt and James would be autograph signing whirlwinds. To say the least.


Ira Ryan and Tony Periera's shops are featured in a little section titled Workshop. Dan Sharp shot the photos and there are a few essays included in this one by not only Ira and Tony, but also The Mix chef and writer Matthew Card. He does some writing about food here and there. The last little one that we did together was the Pasta selection over this way. In this one however he talks about knives. Fancy knives.

In any case. Keep an eye out here for the remainder of the week. I will give you a closer look into that of Ampersand which will hopefully reinforce your desire to check it out. Or make you really, really jealous that you will be unable to attend this coming weekend...

Also, there is something going on just down the street if you get bored here (you won't) it will involve the Veloforma/Corsa Concepts racing squad and a whole bunch of Carbon. Bikes, blades, boards, I am not even sure where the carbon begins and ends these days... (which makes me excited.)

191: Some Art and Leg Hair.

I almost forgot, this past weekend I attended an art show. Well, a couple of them actually. But the one that I am psyched about at this moment involves Matt Hall. For one because his drawings are out of control awesome. For two because he shreds on many forms of bicycle. For three because his wife Saska is doing leg waxing for cyclists (see painfully below.) And for fourth because Matt drew the intro to No Secrets in Spandex a Cycling Romance Novel that I printed the first two chapters of in Embrocation Vol5.

All of the drawings seemed to have the theme of "couches" (this is different than coaches- but that would be interesting as well). Or at the very least all of the models in the drawings are seated. Molly Cameron and Brian Ellin are in the one above. I tried to get them to pose in a similar fashion in front of their drawings, but there just was not the light necessary to do justice to the whole set up.

Matt's drawings will be on display at Ristretto Coffee Roasters (the one on Williams) and hopefully they will be displayed for a while because they look great in the space. Aside from the celebrity appearance of MC in the drawings there is also one of famed local bicycle builder Ira Ryan and a separate one of his girlfriend Rachel on display. Did I mention that Matt is one of the racers that Ira Sponsors? Lots of love going on with that crew.

Nice Kneewarmers

Speaking of love I stole this photo off of Matt's Facebook page. You really need to dip into the Love Bucket to do something like this for your wife. Saska is going to esthetician school and needed a model of sorts. Apparently she will also put you through this pain for a mere $50 (that's a deal cyclists.) I'm thinking of giving it a try.

You know - research. How long does the hair stay away? How much does it hurt? How much better looking will my legs be? She also said that for an extra fee she could do a BROzillian. PROzillian is more like it. Ow.

I don't even know how to follow that up. Or transition it into something else? So, I'll just put some of these little dashed lines and that will symbolize the transition.

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Backyard Blam.

Amanda's event went off with a, well, with a Blam if you will. And you will. I must admit that I am a little out of my element when it comes to these events. I do not know any tricks, especially ones that have to do with bicycles. I just get on them and ride for miles and miles. That's my trick.

I once got a Bianchi D.I.S.S. when I worked at the shop in Milwaukee. I saved up for that friggin thing and let me tell you it was awesome. Murdered out to the max. Every piece on it was black. Matte black frame, black hubs, seriously the thing was sick. And I rode it every day, down by the river through the homeless camps, to work, even in the W.O.R.S. series races (getting stomped by the J. Lalonde). But when I got that bike I told myself that I was going to learn how to wheelie.


I tried every single day of the summer. Every day that I was not working I would just ride around in the park near my apartment and try to wheelie. I tried lowering my saddle like the flatlanders. I tried just working on just balance. That didn't work either. (However on a side note I did see a car crash happen because of a woman tanning in a skimpy bikini. But that was the only thing to come of all the practice.) Then I resigned myself to the fact that I would never be good at the bike tricks.


Now, you might be thinking that I'm going to bring it all full circle here. Connect the loop on how I feel ostracized from the herd because I show up at these things and do not fit in because I cannot wheelie. How I wish that maybe this crowd would accept me for my MaxVO2 alone?

Nope, not really.

The event was great. It was swell to see people come out all in the name of the bike. The Clockwork Orange Sprints room was pretty cool too. NEMO did a great job of utilizing their venue and Amanda's enthusiasm alone could put a congregation of bike worship straight to their knees. Which is kind of what she did. Thumbs up. Way up.

Check out the Backyard Blam site for some actual great photos. And I am smiling in that photo.