099: My New Hero.

This is what I'm talking about.
Action! Drama! It's all there.

Mr. Joe Staples, whom you may remember from his Embrocation techniques a few weeks back, sent this over yesterday. It was contained within an email titled "DO NOT OPEN IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE TOUR TODAY." I immediately opened it based on the fact that I hadn't seen the tour but still wanted to be able to keep up with the times.

I've found that its actually pretty easy to fake that I've been watching the tour.

You do it like this—

If Someone Says anything about Boonen...
You say "Tommeke Tommeke Tommeke!" and pump your fist in the air.

If Someone Says anything about Lance...
You say "Grumble Grumble Grumble"
OR "If he doesn't win it will be because Horner isn't there."

If Someone Says anything about B. Wiggins...
You say "what the fuck? I thought that guy was fat. How did he climb like that?"

If Someone Says anything about Cadel Evans...
You say "I know, right? He does that every year."

and so on and so forth.

Good Luck and let me know how it turns out.