069: Katousha Would Break You Too.

Rode P.I.R. tonight.

It is something that you do in Portland. Ride bikes. Race bikes. Talk about bikes. Think about Manifests for Bikes....bikes bikes bikes...and its all positive, all the time. Right? In any case the race was a nice Tuesday night attack fest. Dave Roth himself was there. He described it well to me by stating "Welcome to our little Tuesday night World Championships."

Doesn't every town have a TNWC?

On the way home I was talking to S. Hunter. Which is also sometimes pronounced Shunter. Ad in "The Shunted One." He's an all around great guy and his exploits riding with the Pro's of Euro Cyclocross can be seen here. I'm sure that he hates this. Yet, if I was pushed out of the way or punched by R. Groenendael, I would tell everyone I know.


So, through the conversation with Steven I remembered this ride with the Katousha boys. Maybe it is because I'm getting ready to embark on Rapha Continental Round Two? Or maybe it just had something to do with riding in a group again. Either way, it was a pretty fantastic opportunity to ride with some pro's and see how they do things.

We all met up with Katousha early in the morning two days before they would ride the Paris-Roubaix. A nice little recon mission with a bunch of euro-wannabe americanzies tagging along. Sounds like a great plan right?


I could tell from the onset that they weren't too thrilled. But they put up with us anyway. Or put up with us the best way that they know how. By dropping the lot of us as fast as they could. It wasn't even a matter of choice. Embrocation Cycling Rider Peter Bradshaw was the only one who could hang with these boys (he can be spotted in this article by Rouler's Guy Andrews.) A flat tire didn't help me any, but I'm not complaining. I had a great day riding by myself.


Pre ride prep happened on the side of the road before Arenburg. Tire pressure was checked. Pictures of fake Vredstein's were taken (you're not fooling anyone there guys.) Someone from our group threw up in the bushes...maybe it was nerves?

And then we were off.

This little video shows it all. Or at least the all that I saw.

Sweet Ridley Bikes with Cross brakes? Check.
English Editor of esteemed Cycling Publication? Check.
Backsides of Professional Cyclists? Check.
High White Socks Complimented by Mavic Yellow Shoes? Check.
Inadvertent Rapha Clothing Ad? Double Check.

Also, with a little digging I found that Katousha, or Katyusha, or Катюша if you prefer...

Well it is actually the name of a WWII Rocket Launcher? Does anyone else find this odd? I mean, its cool and all and I get the obvious reference of Cycling to War...but could you imagine the German Luger Cycling Club? or the maybe the Lee Enfield Riders? Just a thought.

Gross Domestic Product eh? I'm on to you Ka-whoever you are.

037: Humor: A lesson.

This is one of the most amazing things I've seen in a while. I found it here.

A few reasons why I think this is amazing:

1) That this guy had the balls to dress up like this and wait all day just to show off his huge double syringe to Lance. That's patience.

2) In the second frame Floyd Landis is clearly framed between Lance's elbow and syringe boy. Was this planned? If so, amazing execution gentlemen.

3) Lance's Long ass shorts. From my research I have heard that they have a special compression band near the end, and he hates short-shorts. Why does this guy have to come back and kill all the style that is in cycling? Seriously.

4) Horner cracking up in frames three and four. At least someone on that team has a sense of humor. So does A. Schleck apparently because he's cracking up in there too...look for it...

5) Check out the last photo. I love it. This guy not only brought his own pile of cocaine to the party, but when one of the party goers gets angry and pushes him into it, he loves it. Look at the smile on this man's face. He gets it.

Someone help me find this man as I would love to interview him.

Yet, I think that something could be learned from these photos.

A lesson in humor and humility. Laugh it off. That's what I say. Why take yourselves seriously guys? There's no reason for that...you're already counting your calories, heading to bed early, sewing up the front of your underwear when you sleep next to a lady (Sean Kelly?), you might as well lighten up a little. Horner has proved time and time again that he's more than capable of leading the charge. Everyone else just needs to hang on for the ride.

The 'cycling industry' in and of itself is not done yet. Its still has a few tricks up its collective sleeve. This is where cycling is going to be saved. I can't do it all myself though, so I enlisted the help of a few new friends.


I mentioned before that I was traveling with Brock Webster. At one point in the trip Brock was mistakenly identified by the editor of Velonews as the 'Rock Lobster' guy. Whoops. Sorry, that's Paul Sadoff, but good try anyway. I did like his response when told that he was incorrect with the name..."oh, sorry, I used to drink a lot." This is all hearsay by the way. But definitely what I'm talking about. Humor.

So, after laughing a few times about this interaction myself, Brock and Seve (the man crafting the whole affair) decided that this would probably be the best way to represent the BMC brand.

It is a two part ad. Could be almost a music video if you think about it.

Part one:

-Get a funk band. Something local. Dress them to the T. I'm talking red shirts, white pants, and hopefully if we can pull it off, matching red shoes. (Note to self: get the pantone color from the red in the BMC shirt and see if we can match that.) Also necessary is a character who's willing to play this part. Something that's going to be a little eccentricity mixed with maybe just a touch of hippy values, combine that with an exquisite sense of the dance floor and we're set to move on to part two.

Part Two:

-All shock value here with this one. Hope like hell that most people haven't been hiding under rocks the past few years and know who Napoleon Dynamite is. If they don't we're fucked. Either way, as much of a spectacle the we can make out of this, the better. Get the locals involved. "Oh my god, he's soooo cute." This is our target market. Aging women that will run right out and buy a BMC or two for their brothers? Sisters? Boyfriends? It doesn't matter at this point. We've hit they nail on the head, these are customers for life.

They identify.

Humor. Look it up.