215: On Battenkill, PR and other such things.

It amazes me how much people geek out about the Classics, the Monuments, these early season races that somehow do not compare to anything else all year. It is No Joke. I do it too.

It is like the Super Bowl every weekend. No big deal. But speaking of the super bowl, good luck to everyone at Battenkill. Seriously. Harness your power animal, or whatever it takes and just effing go for it (power animal suggestions - Pink Hawk, Dolphin, Cougar, Honey Badger, Mountain Goat, Bunny Rabbit, and Marshmallow Peep).

There is also another big one this weekend in terms of the UCI world of cycling*. Who is it going to be? Can Cancellara do it again? You want to say probably not, if we are just basing things on odds. But there is more magic and mystery to these things than even I understand. What happens if these two babyfaced teens have to battle it out once again?

1. Pippo 2. Cancellara 3. Boonen (just a guess).


Found that via a pretty concise little write up about our man Cancel via Pez. It is worth a perusal if only for the photos of the man in Mapei kit (but the write up is a great overview of his already amazing career). Although I would venture that pretty much anyone in Mapei kit is bad ass. I guess that is the way to combat a particularly hideous cycling kit. Make sure that everyone riding in it be unmistakably BAD ASS that way your strange looking kit supported by an adhesive company get the recognition they deserve and thereby making your obnoxious clothing associated with "the cool." Either way, it works.


But this was today.

Chris Milliman Photography

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Riding
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There is some fun riding planned for this weekend as well. Kings Valley tomorrow and then another one of these King Kong Classic thingamajobies. Hopefully the weather either holds or is really shit. Could be either. Could be fun either way.

Also got a sweet snapshot of Joe out riding his fully built, fully awesome Ridley Helium at PIR earlier this week. Thought you might like this one. I am hoping that there will be some photos coming in from Battenkill because last I heard this morning there are something like 8 Embrocation riders in the CAT2 Field. Shite.

Also, check out the finishing tape that we have been working on. Now everyone can "finish off" their handlebars with a little bit of "embrocation" if you know what I mean. Wait, what?



Secret Tip #23: Follow Bill Strickland on Twitter for some up to date Roubaix coverage. I know that last year he talked about doing a live twitter feed through the entirety of the race. And if I know him he is going to have the best seat in the house (in a Press Car with the best driver in the World James Startt) That is all...

211: Man's Last Stand, Again.

You all have seen Joe Staples before right? So, when I mention that he is a part of the team, or talk about how great he is you are not going to be surprised correct? When it comes to Embro West (you have to cross your two middle fingers in the middle when you make the W) Abby, Ryan and Dan are pretty fucking fan-tas-tic, but we need to do these by baby steps for a couple of reasons.

1. Because he is not featured on the Team section of the website (which his lovely wife publicly shamed me for) but then again no one on the Embro West side of things is up there. Which I would think should maybe be taken into account"? And why is that you might ask yourself? Well, that is because - collectively (on the West Coast) we like to "run and gun" as they say. Fly a little "under the radar" if you will.

2. If I were to start to opine on just how awesome all these Cats are, well, then you, dear reader would be here for daaays. Because they are that awesome. But we'll get to that, fear not. There is time for everything.

But I figure, I can talk, and you guys know what I'm talking about. Just let me know if you need filling in, because I can do that as well.


But the reason that Joe is at the forefront of my mind is also two fold. The first because new team bikes have been trickling in. And by trickling I mean that they are here. And two because I saw his (and his lovely wife's) handiwork on the big screen last night. And it kind of blew my mind.

I did not dare take Joe's Helium out of its neatly bound package mainly because I felt it rude to fondle another mans frame that way. But also because the seatmast protruded in this way that made me blush a little bit and just felt wrong to delve into. But I did manage to take a few snaps before he came to whisk it away.

Chances are, if I were a betting man, I would say that an Embrocation Decal set would follow closely behind something like this. "Team it up a bit." Just saying.

Alright, so you saw his bike. Now see this. Or, maybe you actually you have seen it already? This played during the most recent Superbowl. But actually, it is a big deal, because a lot of people watch that game. And to be "in the know" you have to at the very least know that it exists.

And if you were to quiz me on Superbowl knowledge I would more than likely defer to big names such as Brett Favre or Tom Brady (the only two quarterbacks I have known in my adult life - and I by known I mean "aware of.") Them and maybe Joe Montana. But I would not have actually known much about the Superbowl. Which brings us up to date and at the movie theater last night...

Hot Tub Time Machine. (see it, see it, see it, seriously fucking see it, it's hilarious)

So, Kyle, Molly and I are sitting in the movie theater last night (see above) and Man's Last Stand (see below) comes on. Kyle and I decided we like the last guy the best. He is definitely the weirdest. But in this theater. The one where we are about to watch Hot Tub Time Machine (we'll get to that later), this is the largest theater I have been in recently. Maybe ever. And this is what we see, but picture it on the hugest screen ever...





Well, Joe wrote that. He and Jimm pulled the whole thing off with his wife Jessica and Mark Romaneck. Yeah. Same one. Remember when you saw the Weezer El Scorcho? Yes, same Romaneck. He has one of those Director Series guys. No big deal if it was the second version. All that matters is that he's awesome. And the movie One Hour Photo has Robin Williams in it, who was also in Ferngully. See, brought it back around.

But the point of all this is... at the end of the ad, the car drives straight at the camera and then, in a feat that could only be pulled off in a theater of this magnitude, drives straight over the crowd. "Damn, check that out, how do they do that?" is what was uttered, I don't know by whom. "Well, they smash the shit out of a really expensive camera" was my reply. "I know this because I have seen it."

You be the judge. And then, the next time that you see this trick used in movies or tv shows, know that this is what it takes to get this shot. It is not just another small camera with a wide angle lens. This is the real deal. Smashing shit. Kicking ass and taking names later. Right?

210: This Weekend Past

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Riding
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A woman at Heart Roasters the other morning told Joe that of all the cycling clothing in that room (and there was more than a bit) the one with the coffee on it was the best. Which is always nice to hear. Because Coffee is the best. If you are looking to get some of your own, it looks as though the only ones left are the long sleeve jerseys and the leg warmers...


Word on the street is that we are in for another two weeks of rain. This past week/weekend was pretty awesome for riding and ride we did. I think that this is the most amount of riding that I have ever done in the month of March. We rode a couple times with Cindy, not only is she one of the cyclists featured in the new Rapha Women's Line, but she's also a pretty badass rider. And I say "badass rider" because she also rides motorcycles (with photographers on the back, and through Europe) and possibly a Rally Car or two.

Then there was J. Curtes (check out his photos from the Snowboarding world) out and about with his Speedvagen. Have not seen it since the gentleman's race and yes, I think that maybe I did miss the Gold Foil Decals on his hoops. There was some comment on whether or not these 68's were road appropriate. Maybe because they were so loud that everyone got jealous and started looking for a way to get them out of there. Carbon clinchers. Just saying.

Dan Sharp and I both almost fell off our bikes trying to get the closest look possible of the EDGE decals. They look really smart with the whole setup of the Vagen. And when jealousy calls she calls loud and hard. Damn Sirens. It is the time of year for new gear. There will be no denying that. When the sun peaks out just a little bit then the new booties (guilty) socks, kneewarmers appear as if it was christmas morning. How much of a social boner would it be to not be rocking new gear each spring? Sheesh.


Ever notice that there is a certain gait that cyclists adapt off the bike? The appearance is one of a sort of ambulation that one might associate with a cowboy or at the very least a motorcycle tourist. Someone who has been seated most of their life. It looks almost painful but at the same time instantly conveys (to those of us in the know, wink and a nod) that this individual spends more time pedaling a bicycle than actually walking.

I might have stolen that last paragraph out of Bill Strickland's book on big L's comeback. His descriptions of cyclists are so spot on in that they make you look at other riders, at yourself, to attempt to decipher this code that is cycling. Pretty soon I will be ambling along the side streets of Portland attempting to look more 'cowboy.'

Which I would guess in this town might help me to fit in?

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Sneak Attack with Ira Ryan.
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After Black Hammer (more later)
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There was other sorts of riding that happened this weekend as well. Jam packed was this one. The second one you can easily reproduce in the comfort of your home or backyard. It is really easy to do. Or at least the version that I came away with.

Steps:

1. Wrap a dark colored bandanna around your eyes insuring that you cannot see for shit.

2. Run/Ride as fast as you can towards the nearest undergrowth or brush. You will fall.

3. This is where you would think "repeat" would be in order. But it is not. When you crash, which you inevitably will do. Just keep down real low to the ground. And while you are down there, bang your head on the ground a few times, and then just for kicks get your friends to run over you with their bikes. It will be great I promise.

In all honesty. The After Black Hammer went off without a hitch once again. And when the x-rays come back and we hear that nothing has been broken, then we will know the truth. But until then I will leave you with a motorcycle from the shop of James Crowe. Who Shreds. More on that later.

171: Storytime.

Il Centenario - Una Storia
(The 100th Giro - A Story)

Photos:
Dan Sharp

Story:
Joe Staples
Max Erdenberger
Jeremy Dunn

Take a look at it one more time. It is a little sped, up, but that is just because I know you want to actually get one for yourself. Spend a little time with it. Because this is what this art deserves. But think about the bicycle races that you have been to while you watch it. Think about what it feels like to attend them.



You wake up in the morning and head out to the spot where you know you can watch the race unfold. If you live somewhere like France, or in this case Italy, others may be doing the same thing. Getting in their cars and driving out to similar spots. You will know some of them by their Faema supporters jackets, scarfs, or maybe a cycle cap. On the other hand if you are living somewhere in the Midwestern United States and you are heading out to watch bike racing you might be doing it alone.

Either way, find a spot where you know the race will pass and wait.

Then the race will come. Sometimes it will be followed by the sound of a helicopter, but it will always have a car or motorcycle out front leading the way. Hopefully you are on a mountaintop and get more than a passing glimpse of this spectacular parade.


At the finish line everyone is waiting. Everyone that has come from miles around are all gathered to welcome their hero, whomever it may be, into their arms. The others slink away to try and come back and do it again the next day.

And then as you return to your home via your car, a train or three cafes you are left with those images. Those brief and hopefully vivid memories of the day.


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The real reason why I was psyched to go to Dan Sharp's Show the other night was a little more selfish than I made it out to be. And maybe that is wrong. You see, I was involved in the creation of this printed piece that you see in the video. Mr. Joe Staples told me of his idea to help Dan Sharp create a piece with his photos from his trip to Italy (I might be wrong here, but there was something like 5,000 photos that they started with.) And this little beauty (the above publication) is the result.

So, Joe together with Max Erdenberger went through the process of selecting photos that told this story of the daily attending of a race. This is the pared down version of what really went into it, but I would only confuse you with their ruckus tale of mathmatics combined with really, really good taste.* Aside: One of the cool things is that they did this with the entire collection of Giro photos from this year, making all kinds of small stories come out along the way.

Then they went back through (and this is where I got to come in and help) and started to flesh out the story that was to be told through this piece. I didn't really help all that much aside from pointing to photos and saying "Yes! I love that photo" (which was a lot) and "Hrm, I don't know if that works here?"

The result is Il Centenario - Una Storia and it is pretty damn awesome.

Get one: ampersandvintage@mac.com ask for Myles.

And stay tuned while we try to find another venue to show these photos as Vanilla had to get back to work...ha!


Max's Twitter photo alone would shame both Lemond and Millar into giving back their entire Oakley collections.

(also, this is the first Vanilla Sacha White built)

158: And Another Thing.

This has happened to me twice lately. We will be riding along and I will pull out my camera to snap a photo. Then, as if guided by a higher power whomever I am riding with will increase their pace at such great speeds as to not only drop me, but also ruin what could have been a perfectly decent photo.

Although I do kind of like the one above. Its blurry qualities convey something of an immediacy, speed. Both good things. Joe was riding his Seven and has it all kitted out with full wrap fenders and whatnot. Mine should be done early this week. Not my Seven, my fendered bike. It is an old timer for me. The first (real) road bike that I bought. Ah, resurrection can be such fun. Right Jesus?

While you are looking through Seven's site you might notice that they have something of a Gift Buying Guide going on. I love these, I really do. Make fun of me if you will, I do not mind at all. But it is only because I want, want, want. Maybe it has something to do with the culture that we live in, a way that I was brought up (doubt it) or maybe I just like nice new shit. Either way, Gift Buying is fun. So, when you are looking through theirs — I'll take the Tiberus Handlebar.

The next day after another little ride with CD I stopped by 21st Avenue Bicycles. This is the shop that our pal Kyle manages and does a pretty damn fine job if you ask me. I was surprised to see the CHUB made its way back onto the market. Remember when those things? They got it figured out, and they definitely look good. Or at the very least their packaging looks good.

Our little buddy, ready for action, one David Rose used to ride these on his Hot Tubes track bike up in New Hampshire. God damn if that bike/wheel combo wasn't the hottest thing around. That blue Hot Tubes was something to envy. Light, stiff and fast as fuck. Or maybe that was Dave? And now he is an amazing mechanic right here in North Portland. Hi Dave. Miss you.

He was the first to introduce me to the CHUB. As soon as he pulled them out and attached them to his bike pangs of jealousy swept over me. Although that was always prone to happen around Dave because he always had the sweetest bikes and always got the best deals on them. To say that I learned a thing or two from that skinny understudy to M. McCormack would be an understatement.

And we're back...

The other thing that I noticed while there (ok, there were a couple things) was this Ira Ryan frame hanging from their ceiling. There are a few more photos of it on their blog, but I am really digging this paint job. I think that the guys from Coat do all of his work, and if this is an example of it, well, then I am sold.


While I was in there we were discussing the Magic Flute pump from the PDW guys that Kyle wrote about a few weeks ago. I was carrying it with me at the time and commented on its size and portability and even thought of offering it to one of his mechanics to try out, as he was in the market for a new pump. I thought better of it and then headed on my way.

Only to get a flat tire four blocks away.


Carey made these tool rolls for the Rapha Continental riders this summer past. I had not really thought about all the craftsmanship that went into them until I unfurled it for the first time the other day. They look great and work perfectly when stuffed up under your saddle. Secure in place with a toe strap (see this) and you're good to go. Eli from Lemolo Bags crafted them out of waterproof cordura (I made that up, it could be something else) from Carey's designs.

And keep a watchful eye on the Continental part of the site this week as well. The Lost River Barn ride should be going up on Tuesday. This was one of the best most epic-est (that is not a real word) rides I have ever done. Taxidermy, banjos, moonshine and all.