227: Too Beef.

I put that photo first to draw you in. The thing you want to do with readers is draw them in. Lead with their eyeballs, your eyeball. Naked women. Works does it not? It is story #2 on the day. We will get to it. Do not worry. But, just a note. If you are looking at this blog post with your 1o year old, you might want to start the "What's a Stripper?" conversation right now.

It is books books books (and mags) these days. Usually it goes bikes bikes bikes, but something happened and I started reading again. But the thing is, I forgot is to tell you all about them because I was reading them. Out loud. Sometimes I get too caught up on this "real life" stuff and forget to, you know "pass it on."

New Bike

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I did get a new bike recently. See how the white tape glows? See the urban environs that I found to showcase this beast? It is a Ridley Helium. It has SRAM Red on it. Apparently, the Embrocation Team deemed me necessary to add to their ranks. And after said approval - new bike. So nice. Keep your eyes wide open for the review that will follow after a week of racing on it. We have PIR tomorrow and then Tabor on Wednesday, followed by the Mississippi Crit on Saturday. Cannot think of a better way to get back into shape.

I was very, very excited to pick it up at the Veloshop where Jake had assembled it for me. They do nice work there, have I mentioned that before? This town is not lacking in the ye olde bike shoppe department. The only problem when I went to pick up my new Murder Machine (that is what I had been calling it in private) was that I had been trumped by ANOTHER RIDLEY HELIUM. And you know what? I don't like being fucking shown up like that. I mean here I was picking up my brand new bike, which, if I can speak for myself, and I can, is pretty fucking awesome. And I get shown up by another bike, nay, the same bike, but done up better. What the eff is up with that?

Sorry for the swears.

"Beef don't come with a radio edit."

I'm looking into said bike. I'll get back to you. All I know at the moment is that it was stripped and repainted and then some Golden Screeching Eagle Di2 was added to it. Some fancy Edge Rims were strapped on and now I'm left looking like a sucker on the street. I am actually thinking that these two bikes might need to meet, on the streets, and settle this once and for all.

I got your Portland Bike Stud right here.

On Reading

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Speaking of Beef. Here are some books and Magazines that I've read recently. Let me know if something that I have not covered jumps out at you and I will try to get back to it. Seriously. Serrrriously. If it jumps out at you, it is probably because you think you might be into it. And I'm into that. But before you get too far into this... there has been a lot of reading and writing going round on just this subject. Even to an immense degree on these actual books. My pal Brian has been doing a great job of talking about publications and I would have never heard of some of them if I did not check thewashingmachinepost (what? he doesn't capitalise anything.) And there is a great piece there about Richard Sachs' New Yorker Collection.

Books:
Come and Gone by Joe Parkin — see below.

Tour de Lance by Bill Strickland — this one is no joke. I'm not even joking on the no joke thing. Order your copy on Amazon right now. I'll get back to it in a minute, but until then you will have to wait for the book report on this one.

Shop Class as Soul Craft by Matthew B. Crawford
The Official CIA Manual of Trickery and Deception
The Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thompson (read this every summer)
Our Story Begins by Tobias Wolff
The Best American Sports Writing of the Century
Ask the Dust by John Fante
Outliers by Malcom Gladwell

Mags and Papers:
Jacques
Monocle
Huck
Little White Lies (sister to Huck)
Inventory
Rouleur #17
Rouleur #18
ROAD
Wired
Bicycle Quarterly
Home and Away

Come and Gone
by Joe Parkin

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When you have troubles figuring out something you turn to your friends right? Apparently my friends then turn to Zombie movies as reference, which, I think, just goes to show that I have some pretty good friends.

Come and Gone is a snippet of bicycle racing from someone that was on the inside. And this is important, I think, and necessary. It makes me hopeful, that people are telling stories about bicycle racing in America. I for one, was not there, but I would still like to learn and hear about these things that happened. That shaped the culture of bike racing and molded it into what we see now before us.

It is also my hope that as these stories come out and people start telling them that they will just get better and better. This is where the Zombie movie reference comes in. No one thinks that Zombie movies are going to win Oscars. Some people do, but they aren't. And as Clint said tonight "Zombie movies are just about coming up with new and creative ways of killing the undead." So, I say this with Zombies in my heart and tears of the undead stinging eyes. This is not a good book.

I hope that you understand that I understand what it means to say that. I think that this book is very important, just not very good.

With A Dog in a Hat Parkin opened up and offered us a peak in through the doors of a world that most of us will never see. And it was such an exclusive look, into a time and place that anyone with any aspiration towards PRO was willing to overlook terrible writing to hold onto a little piece of that. This one is a less effusive glance into a world that Parkin was barely a part of. And I know that sounds harsh, but I think that is because he did not want to be a part of it. He wanted to stay in Belgium and tell the stories of the World Champion Road Racers that he met, of the World Championships that he raced in.

And now he is the editor of BIKE magazine. So, we shall see how that goes. Although I have to admit I'm curious about this post from April. One issue about Belgium. Ok, I'm listening.

Jacques Magazine
Brooklyn, NY

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"America's new Erotic Quarterly." Who could turn down a tagline like that? I admit, the thing that first sparked my curiosity were the video promos that Jacques does to accompany their issues. They are well shot, and they are, well, hot.

Squash, the Sports Issue Trailer.
These are totally safe for work, if whatever you do for work is awesome.

The thing is, I like that someone is putting this together. The stories inside are laced with humor, and women's underwear, and at the same time they are interesting, and a little heartbreaking. The Girls of Mons Venus, a strip club in Tampa, FL, tells the stories of the girls that work there.
And 37 year old Tamara has had cervical cancer and has to have more tumors removed, but she keeps working, because that is how you make money, by working.

The design, layout and format of the publication is great. It is great because in an airbrushed world of stick skinny fake boobed models it is apparent that that these are real people. They are real people in their full selves, they come alive in their awkward acknowledgments of the sex trades that they ply. And they are real people that want to be sexy for you.

The large print format gives it more than ample opportunity to do just that as well. In a time where magazines are being shrunk (Alpinist?) and distilled Jacques stands out once again. At the same time it tends to stand out if you leave it lying on your desk at work for weeks at a time. The other great aspect (besides the naked girls, cool format, and accompanying videos) about Jacques is that it is cheap. Or relatively so. So, you know, support the arts. Get one.

215: On Battenkill, PR and other such things.

It amazes me how much people geek out about the Classics, the Monuments, these early season races that somehow do not compare to anything else all year. It is No Joke. I do it too.

It is like the Super Bowl every weekend. No big deal. But speaking of the super bowl, good luck to everyone at Battenkill. Seriously. Harness your power animal, or whatever it takes and just effing go for it (power animal suggestions - Pink Hawk, Dolphin, Cougar, Honey Badger, Mountain Goat, Bunny Rabbit, and Marshmallow Peep).

There is also another big one this weekend in terms of the UCI world of cycling*. Who is it going to be? Can Cancellara do it again? You want to say probably not, if we are just basing things on odds. But there is more magic and mystery to these things than even I understand. What happens if these two babyfaced teens have to battle it out once again?

1. Pippo 2. Cancellara 3. Boonen (just a guess).


Found that via a pretty concise little write up about our man Cancel via Pez. It is worth a perusal if only for the photos of the man in Mapei kit (but the write up is a great overview of his already amazing career). Although I would venture that pretty much anyone in Mapei kit is bad ass. I guess that is the way to combat a particularly hideous cycling kit. Make sure that everyone riding in it be unmistakably BAD ASS that way your strange looking kit supported by an adhesive company get the recognition they deserve and thereby making your obnoxious clothing associated with "the cool." Either way, it works.


But this was today.

Chris Milliman Photography

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Riding
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There is some fun riding planned for this weekend as well. Kings Valley tomorrow and then another one of these King Kong Classic thingamajobies. Hopefully the weather either holds or is really shit. Could be either. Could be fun either way.

Also got a sweet snapshot of Joe out riding his fully built, fully awesome Ridley Helium at PIR earlier this week. Thought you might like this one. I am hoping that there will be some photos coming in from Battenkill because last I heard this morning there are something like 8 Embrocation riders in the CAT2 Field. Shite.

Also, check out the finishing tape that we have been working on. Now everyone can "finish off" their handlebars with a little bit of "embrocation" if you know what I mean. Wait, what?



Secret Tip #23: Follow Bill Strickland on Twitter for some up to date Roubaix coverage. I know that last year he talked about doing a live twitter feed through the entirety of the race. And if I know him he is going to have the best seat in the house (in a Press Car with the best driver in the World James Startt) That is all...

211: Man's Last Stand, Again.

You all have seen Joe Staples before right? So, when I mention that he is a part of the team, or talk about how great he is you are not going to be surprised correct? When it comes to Embro West (you have to cross your two middle fingers in the middle when you make the W) Abby, Ryan and Dan are pretty fucking fan-tas-tic, but we need to do these by baby steps for a couple of reasons.

1. Because he is not featured on the Team section of the website (which his lovely wife publicly shamed me for) but then again no one on the Embro West side of things is up there. Which I would think should maybe be taken into account"? And why is that you might ask yourself? Well, that is because - collectively (on the West Coast) we like to "run and gun" as they say. Fly a little "under the radar" if you will.

2. If I were to start to opine on just how awesome all these Cats are, well, then you, dear reader would be here for daaays. Because they are that awesome. But we'll get to that, fear not. There is time for everything.

But I figure, I can talk, and you guys know what I'm talking about. Just let me know if you need filling in, because I can do that as well.


But the reason that Joe is at the forefront of my mind is also two fold. The first because new team bikes have been trickling in. And by trickling I mean that they are here. And two because I saw his (and his lovely wife's) handiwork on the big screen last night. And it kind of blew my mind.

I did not dare take Joe's Helium out of its neatly bound package mainly because I felt it rude to fondle another mans frame that way. But also because the seatmast protruded in this way that made me blush a little bit and just felt wrong to delve into. But I did manage to take a few snaps before he came to whisk it away.

Chances are, if I were a betting man, I would say that an Embrocation Decal set would follow closely behind something like this. "Team it up a bit." Just saying.

Alright, so you saw his bike. Now see this. Or, maybe you actually you have seen it already? This played during the most recent Superbowl. But actually, it is a big deal, because a lot of people watch that game. And to be "in the know" you have to at the very least know that it exists.

And if you were to quiz me on Superbowl knowledge I would more than likely defer to big names such as Brett Favre or Tom Brady (the only two quarterbacks I have known in my adult life - and I by known I mean "aware of.") Them and maybe Joe Montana. But I would not have actually known much about the Superbowl. Which brings us up to date and at the movie theater last night...

Hot Tub Time Machine. (see it, see it, see it, seriously fucking see it, it's hilarious)

So, Kyle, Molly and I are sitting in the movie theater last night (see above) and Man's Last Stand (see below) comes on. Kyle and I decided we like the last guy the best. He is definitely the weirdest. But in this theater. The one where we are about to watch Hot Tub Time Machine (we'll get to that later), this is the largest theater I have been in recently. Maybe ever. And this is what we see, but picture it on the hugest screen ever...





Well, Joe wrote that. He and Jimm pulled the whole thing off with his wife Jessica and Mark Romaneck. Yeah. Same one. Remember when you saw the Weezer El Scorcho? Yes, same Romaneck. He has one of those Director Series guys. No big deal if it was the second version. All that matters is that he's awesome. And the movie One Hour Photo has Robin Williams in it, who was also in Ferngully. See, brought it back around.

But the point of all this is... at the end of the ad, the car drives straight at the camera and then, in a feat that could only be pulled off in a theater of this magnitude, drives straight over the crowd. "Damn, check that out, how do they do that?" is what was uttered, I don't know by whom. "Well, they smash the shit out of a really expensive camera" was my reply. "I know this because I have seen it."

You be the judge. And then, the next time that you see this trick used in movies or tv shows, know that this is what it takes to get this shot. It is not just another small camera with a wide angle lens. This is the real deal. Smashing shit. Kicking ass and taking names later. Right?

196: PBS - Lazer Helmets - JC

Just because everyone is out in Richmond, does not mean that things are not happening on the homefront. Ever wondered what Portland Bicycle Studio was all about? How about wanting to have Molly Cameron autograph the latest copy of CX Magazine? All of this can be yours and more next Monday night. And I am really hoping to get a one on one demo of the new winter helmet cover by Lazer. That thing looks sah-weet. I think.

There will also be some Ridley bikes on hand. Including, I'm told my Embrocation Racing Ridley X-Fire (however you want to say that is fine.) Take a look here if you are wondering what I am talking about.


Went riding with Molly last weekend and captured a few photos of this wild beast out of her normal PBS kit, but rest assured, it is still her. Josh Creem is responsible for the CycloSportif kit, but unfortunately the Waffle Coming out of the pocket (my favorite) is no longer available. Only the classy Belgian inspired one. If you have not seen Josh before, or smelled his delicious waffles wafting over the cross courses around the NW keep an eye out for him this summer. He is also a pretty damn good spinter and what one might call a "crit monster." And then, as soon as the weather starts to bite again he will be back behind the waffle maker.



Now, I know that what you were expecting today was the start of some NAHBS coverage and that is all well and good. But you will have to wait until tomorrow when I go under cover to get some of the set up of all the glorious booths. Now sleep.

179: The Year in Review: Science and Nature.

SCIENCE AND NATURE

You thought I was done, didn't you?

Part One - Science

Bikes are science right? I mean combined with gravity what are they? Just two wheeled science. So to speak. You may have noticed that I worked out a little bit of a style with the some reviews of Adam, Mo, Molly, and Tim's cyclocross bikes. I kept trying to do this shot, but every time I would try to jump back and snap the photo, I would drop the bike and it was pissing people off.

So, I guess that just leaves mine.

FAVORITE CYCLOCROSS RIG (biased)
Embrocation Cycling Journal
Ridley X-Fire

There was still a bit of Grit on it when I took these. Maybe some Krugers farm mud? Cannot be certain, it all looks the same to me. A couple bottom brackets later and I guess I really did get some of the mud that I was lusting for early in the season.

I do not really know what to say about these bikes. I do not have too much experience on the ol plastico when it comes to Cross racing. But I do like it now. The previous years on the Igleheart had maybe softened (hardened?) me to the ways of the custom builder.

But I had so much damn fun on this bike not to mention it. That is the point of all this anyway right? To have fun on bikes. Bike fun.

I hate to really gush over these bikes (at least my own- even though it does kind of kick a little ass) but it sure does make me proud to be able to look through all these photos and see some other people having fun too.

I met Eric Goodson for the first time out in Bend, OR. See, he races for Embrocation, but joined after I had left the East Coast. Immediately upon meeting him I knew that what I, and now James, have put together in the way of a Racing Team is doing something right. Know why? Because he was a really nice guy. We spoke of racing and riding the Ridley bikes, but mostly we talked about the fact that he got to come across the country and hang out with his brother for Nationals.

Ok, whew. Getting a little verklempt there. Lets move on to prevent the tears from flowing. Actually, I take that back. If you are in the moment go for it. And then try, I implore you, try to not let loose with this viewership polarizing video that Stevil posted up the other day: All Hail the Black Market. Do not watch that if you are at work, unless you do not mind crying in front of your co-workers.

Now that you fully have that out of your system.

BEST CABLES AND HOUSING FOR MUD (Set)
Yokozuna Reaction

It only took me a year to get what I was asking for, but let me tell you it was worth it. These are so good that they do not even warrant a changing every weekend during cross. Seriously. I think that I used one set for two, or even three races. You think I'm joking, but that is ok too. Get some. And they look like something off of the Alien movie set. (Scott and Jeunet more than Cameron and Fincher).

BEST TEN-YEAR OLD PEDALS (White)
Time ATAC Alium

Would that make them best of the Century? Kidding. They might not actually be ten years old. But they might still be awesome. Ok, they are. Everyone seems to be going the way of the XTR, or maybe that is the way that they have been going all along, but that is the way that pedal sponsorship works in the pro's right? No matter what or who you are sponsored by shoes and pedals are the riders choice right? (I might have just made that up.)

I have been using the Time action for going on five years now. At first it was some Ritchey SPD's. I thought they were bad ass because they said Ritchey on them. And then I rode them in some mud. Not such a good idea. One of my fellow riders on the Harris Team (could have been Pete Rubi - probably was Dave Rose - could have been Jim W) mentioned that these were the best pedals for the mud. Have not looked back since.

TYRE OF THE YEAR
Tufo Cubus

These were the only tires (or tyres if you prefer) that I used all year. Maybe it was because they are so damn awesome. But maybe it was because they were affordable and stood up to the test of time. In every condition I had no complaints. And while I do like a nice soft Dugast to keep me warm on the weekends these tyres really did the trick. For the last couple of years it has been the Tufo Flexus, but this year it was time to change it up (because everyone seemed to be sold out.)

Moving on...

Part Two - Nature

Hmm. What to do for the nature end of things. People always tell me that the best way to get more viewers is (not what you think) to put cute things on the website. "What?" is usually my response to that. However, when I put up this video of our good friend Champer Dampers I got a good response. When I tweet cute pictures of cats and dogs, again, people respond.

BEST CAT VIDEO
"So Your Cat Wants a Massage?"
Found via: Everything is Terrible

But we all know that Nature is so much more than that. So much more than the domesticated cats and dogs that we all love. And I do love me some cats. For real. LOL Catz not so much. Iggy and Axel? So much. Those are some cats that I can get into. Here are some other shots of Nature that I took throughout the year. Nature Nurture.

SAN JOSE, CA

BELLA VISTA, AR

CAMBRIDGE, MA

TESSENDERLO, BE

HOOD RIVER, OR

PORTLAND, OR

SACRAMENTO, CA

INDIANAPOLIS, IN

BRUSSELS, BE

PARIS-ROUBAIX, FR

MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, GA

Onward and upward I say. Here is to nature. Shit all this travel (via photo searching) has made me thirsty.

168: With a Little Help From...

Sometimes I have a tough time at events like Nationals. Everyone comes in from around the country and I want to meet up with and hang out with each and every one of them. Luckily for me the USGP also happened to be in my backyard so I could spread it out for something like three weeks. And soon I will need to sleep for something like three weeks.

This really is why I like things like Interbike, the N.A.H.B.S. and Cross Nats. Meet new and equally excited people and pass out handshakes and hugs to the ones you have been waiting to see all year.

1) Dan Action

D - before the start of the Men's Pro Race.

He is definitely one of these people. We have ridden countless hours together through our journeys with the Rapha Continental and the various and sundry race situations that we have been in. He reminded me last night about the Sterling Road Race that we did together one year. Dan had been off the front attacking maybe four or five times when we found ourselves in the strangest crash I have ever seen. It all happened in slow motion. Not that type of slow-motion where actually you're going fast, the type that is really actually slow. And then we were both out of the running. Which kind of sucked.

We have also gotten ourselves into a fair bit of trouble in other locations around the country, and always with these crazy bicycles. He rides an Igleheart, I ride a Sachs, I ride an Igleheart, he rides a Circle A... We also have an affinity to the handmade bicycles. And Bullet Bourbon. So there is that.

2) Matt Roy

Seen here giving Tim the winning tips.

Really like seeing this guy. Funny is a good way to describe him. Really smart and funny and one of the best mechanics that I have ever seen. I lent him my bike last week so that he and his wife Mo Bruno-Roy (the other half and other half of MM Racing) could do some riding together. When he dropped the bike off, after riding it maybe two times, it was spotless. The kind of spotless that makes you look everything over thinking that maybe he crashed the bike somewhere on the road and then just went and bought a new one. So good looking. And what did I do with that clean bike? Muddy it up of course.

This is what he travels with FYI. You might think of a PRO mechanic traveling with all sorts of tools, but this is it.


3) Richard Sachs

I caught him with a few short minutes as he made his way to pit for his Pro Men.

I cannot tell a lie. Whenever I head toward a race where RS is going to be I will be on the lookout for him. His racers are pro, his kits and sponsors are pro, and his bikes...well, that is another story. When we first started putting together a cross team years ago this was the model that we used. Grassroots and awesome. Great looking kits. Really nice people. It is all there and I do not care what anyone says. Richard Sachs has been a role model and hero to me since I have been racing bikes and I was thrilled beyond belief to see his "Bearded Gent" take 8th. And they all seem like such nice guys. He has helped to develop some of the US's best cross racers (Page, Myerson, Spinelli) and it is great to see that tradition continue. And besides, he loves Twizzlers, which is pretty much the best food on the planet.



4) Adam Myerson
Speaking of Adam Myerson I got to spend a considerable ammount of time with Adam and his lovely girlfriend Janice. We had a strange occurance with a real photographer at the race venue though. Because, and I was not really aware of this, but Janice is kind of famous on the interwebs. Thanks creepy photog for pointing that out.

In any case I had a great time hanging out with Adam. He has a definite teasing style about him, which is a light way of saying that he likes to give me shit. So there is that. Maybe one of these days I will get around to following him on Twitter which will finally ease all of the pain that he has been having in that arena.

"If only there were 16 sets of barriers..."

However, in all seriousness he has done a lot for this sport so it is great to be able to snag a few free moments of his time. Between talks of UCI boards and general advancement of the sport of cyclocross, after words on running races and free trips to Worlds, Adam also raced his bike. This is how it went for him...


Even with a horrific crash in the opening laps that left him with a few scrapes on his hip and a broken shoe Adam still managed to finish 21st on the day. That is what I call attrition. Sticking it out and making the best of every situation. Which is really what you are doing for this whole hour long extravaganza that we call Cyclocross. Problem solving. I like it.

I have a few more for you and even a few of the new crew that we hung out with over in Bend.

To Be Continued...